Seoul Train

YOU NEED TO SEE THIS FILM! I don't care who you are or where you are from. This is the most eye opening and important documentary out there today. Rent it, buy it, find it on Ebay. I promise this will move your heart in ways you never thought possible. No movie on the market will make you feel the way this one hour MASTERPIECE will!

http://www.ironweedfilms.com/films/seoultrain

Continuing the Countdown!

So since today is May 1st back in the states, I am officially 3 months out from leaving Korea. That's right, 90 days people! I am so excited about that I can hardly wait. Anyway, I don't have much else to say right now. I will try to think of more to write later.

Until Next Time...

Happy Birthday April Babies!

So April is always a special month in my family. Even before I got married and had kids there were at least 3-4 birthdays in the month of April. Now there are like 7-8. So I want to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT LU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

and last but not least...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!!!

I love you all and hope you enjoy your wonderful day!

Until Next Time...

Fear and Anxiety

Germany is right around the corner. The next milestone in my life, in my marriage, and in my responsibilities as a father. Holy Shit that is a lot of pressure. Its on my shoulders to pull this family through the biggest change we have ever had to face.

Since I have been in Korea everyone has heard me say how much closer me and my family have become. I think the biggest challenge will be keeping it that way and not going back to our old habits. For me personally my two biggest challenges will be my hobbies and money.

I have a habbit of getting into a hobby, spending a lot of time and money on it, and then never doing it again. So in my case, the two things that distract me the most from my family go hand in hand. So...

I have started training myself now not to get back into that habit. I have two hobies right now and I have told myself that is it. No MORE! haha. I am serious. I play guitar and I play video games. Now of those two the only one I need to keep in check is the video games. I play WoW, COD, Rock Band/Guitar Hero, and Street Fighter. THAT'S IT! NO MORE! haha.

So with all that said I think the biggest thing will be communicating with Amanda for the next several months, finding out from her what it is I need to change to make this family more successful, and then training myself to make those changes. Wish me luck!

Until next time...

Selective Memory...

What did you have for lunch yesterday? Shit I can't remember either.

One of the biggest issues I have had since I have been in Korea is remembering what other people tell me. Amanda and I talk on the phone at least once a day, but most of the time its several times a day for sometimes hours at a time. However, most of the time I can't remember what it was we talked about. Does that mean I have a bad memory?

I think the answer is no. I think this happens to everyone. It's called selective memory. You remember the things that your mind thinks is important and everything else just goes in one ear and out the other. Now I am not saying that 95% of what my wife says isn't important. I will give you an example of what I mean.

I have been to Disney World 4 times in the last 10 years. Now going to Disney World is a pretty big deal and something that most people would remember for the rest of their lives. But can I remember every detail? No, not at all. I remember going, I remember when I went, and I can remember certain things in detail that I consider to be special moments. I remember them so well in fact it as if it happened yesterday.

My memories are a win/lose situation for me right now. They are what keeps me going everyday, but when they get really intense and I start thinking about them in detail, I get depressed. Two stuck out in my head this week and almost put me in tears a couple of times.

One memory was of my leave trip home...All four of us were on the bed playing around and we were all jumping on each other...laughing and tickling each other. The other was of...well a really great Valentine's day present I got the first year Amanda and I were married...I will just leave it at that.

I guess the morale of the story is...we are always listening, we just might not always hear you, but we never forget the stuff that matters in our hearts. Sometimes it is okay to forget things, just means that you are making room for the real memories.

Until next time...

8 Down...4 to Go!

Yay! With a little bit of luck and a lot of praying I will be home 4 months from today. I am not sure yet exactly when I will get to leave Korea, but if I get approved for the day that I request it will be only four short months from now.

The crappy part of all that is that I am missing a lot in those 4 months. Both Gabriel and Lily have birthdays this month which I will miss. Also, and probably the killer for me, is I am going to miss Lily's first steps. Amanda tells me that she can stand on her own now so it won't be long before she is walking.

I talked to Gabriel on the phone yesterday and he told me he wished I was going to be there for his birthday. It breaks my heart that he misses me this much. Outside of what I have already been doing (praying, keeping myself busy, etc.), all I can do is hope that the time goes by a little faster.

A blog post...from another blog....

My good friend from back in Alabama interviewed me for her blog site. I think it turned out really well so please take a minute to head over there and check it out...

http://blogs.babycenter.com/momformation/2009/03/30/daddy-wears-combat-boots-a-fathers-perspective/

Until next time :)

Moving Day...

So if you remember back to when I first got to Korea I was temporarily placed in a small room in a building by myself until a room in one of the full barracks buildings was available. I was only suppose to be in that room for like a week and it ended up being almost a month, forcing me to move all of my things instead of just what I brought in my suitcases.

Well due to some construction it would appear they are going to completely remodel our current barracks and are forcing the six of us that live in there now to move to a different building on the other side of the base. Stupid I know, but what are you going to do about it. Anyway I had my internet moved over to my new room yesterday (I am the first one moving; last one in, first one out) and I am suppose to move the rest of my crap today.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT IS FREAKIN RAINING OUTSIDE! We haven't seen rain in months, and outside of a light snow a few weeks ago, we have had nothing but sun since December. Isn't that just my luck?

Anyway I just had to vent. I got a full weekend of stuff planned between the move, a few tours tomorrow and hopefully a trip to Seoul, I should be able to keep busy till next week at least.

Until Next Time...

Old Endings and New Beginnings

My last post I said I would be writing when I returned to Korea from my trip home. Well I have been back for over two weeks now and lets just say that things have been pretty crazy around here. If you read the news online at all I am sure you are up to speed, but if not go to http://www.wn.com/ and in the search window at the top type in N. Korea. Read through a few of those articles and you will get a good part of the story.

And that is all I am going to say about that...

My trip home went really well. Coming back to Korea I felt as though my time was spent well. I accomplished all the hunny-do stuff Amanda had waiting for me and then some. I got to spend a ton of time with the kids and as a little surprise I even got to see my mom for a few days. There was a lot of eating out and quiet a lot of money spent, but in the end I have memories that I will remember forever.

I will say that I didn't get to spend as much time alone with Amanda as I would have liked (and no I don't mean in a perverted way). We have an issue with getting Lily to sleep at night and her staying asleep, at least till we are ready for bed. This meant that most nights after Gabriel went to bed were spent on the couch watching TV and entertaining Lily till she was ready to go back to sleep.

I love my kids with all my heart but I have always been a strong believer that a marrage comes first. After all once your kids are old and gone, if you haven't got a strong marrage than you just have a roommate....

...Anyway so Amanda and I are looking into that. We found a book online that we have just ordered and hopefully that will help. We had this same problem with Gabriel and it seemed the first 2+ years of his life was spent with Amanda and I not having much of a relationship at all. It wasn't that we didn't want it...there just wasn't anytime for it.

But at the end of the trip I left with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face. I had special moments with each of them alone and together that will stay with me everyday for the next 5 months. After that I pray that I never have to leave them again. I am tired of the tears, the sleepless nights, and the look on their face as I leave.

I miss them all, and I can't wait till I go home...for good.

Until next time...

The big day...

Well tomorrow is the big day. Once my plane takes off at 11:05 am local time I will be spending 23 and 1/2 hours in airplanes and airports patiently awaiting the site of my beautiful wife and wonderful children waiting for me at the end of the terminal.

I have actually had dreams about this moment...

I think really the only downside to this whole trip is that it is only for 3 weeks and then I have to return to Korea to finish out my last 5 months. Everyone I have spoke to says coming back will be harder than when I first left. Since I haven't had to experience it yet I am not sure about that. I mean its only 5 months instead of 6. I know everyone here and I know the job so getting back into the swing of things should not be that hard. We will just have to see.

I will most likely not be writing in the blog at all while I am home so make sure you check back in three weeks to see how the trip went. For the few of you out there that are still reading, I will hopefully see you all real soon.

Until next time...

So close, yet so far away...

WOW it really has been a long time. I didn't realize it has been almost two months since I last wrote something on here. What does that mean? Nothing really, just that I don't want to really bore you with stories of my hours and hours worth of watching seasons of TV shows I have missed and countless head shots on Call of Duty.

Korea has come to be a great learning experience for me. The first few months I learned how much I could miss my family and how much of a pussy I could be when it comes to sleeping next to the enemy (you know what I mean). Eventually that evolved into learning how to pass hours of time with only an internet connection and a large imagination.

I don't really get scared or nervous when I come up to work anymore. I still research the happenings in North/South Korean news but even the scary stuff doesn't seem to bother me anymore. Not really too sure what changed but I guess I just realized that if something was going to happen it would have already and if something does happen there really isn't anything I am going to be able to do about it.

I still have my lonely moments from time to time but they are fewer and further between then they used to be. Most of the time when that happens I either find someone around my barracks to bullshit with to take my mind off of it or I go outside and walk till I am cold enough to where I am thinking about getting warm more than being lonely.

A lot of it might also have to do with the fact that I am now only 6 days away to going home on my mid-tour. Yes, that's right, just a few more days and I will be back to my family and the life I left just 6 months ago. It does suck that it will only be for 3 weeks and then I have to return to the second place I have ever called Hell (I called Qatar Hell once, but little did I know there are much worse places than that).

But all I can do is enjoy the time I do have with my family and friends, count my blessings that I made it home in one piece, and start the countdown until my Hell is finally over and I can go back to the paradise that I miss so much...Home.

Until next time...